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A HELPING HAND / PAW

Woof woof woof woof woof woof woof …

I think by now you know the drill. Just keep woofing as you read the translation below , translated by the inimitable Dr. Ollie whose full name is written on the name plate on the tree. Why is the name plate on a tree, you may well ask. Well, it’s because he lives on a tree, and not in a house as we lucky denizens of the animal world do !

‘ PAWS ‘TO REFLECT …..

Though I am not sure who is the lucky one , us or the human whose home we get to live in. Because , all said and done for a meal a day , a few treats and a little bit of love we give back in spades .

Some of us are there to guard your home and hearth with our lives !

Taking us for a walk gives YOU exercise and keeps you fit.

Feeding and taking care of us gives YOU a routine and responsibilities ( especially important for children ! ) .

And, of course, with us around YOU can never get lonely. Your own flesh and bloood may desert you but not us . Humans can learn a thing or two about loyalty from us .

AWESOME ‘ PAW ‘ some !

We are there for the young and the fit and for the elderly, the sick, the disabled, ever ready to give a helping hand/paw .

See photo .

Bella, the dog diva , moi, is best for the helping hand / paw bit. If you have read my previous posts you probably realize that I am not the guard dog type ( too ‘’unfeminine’’ I say ) , exercise is also not my cup of tea except for an occasional run ( just for photo-ops ) but lounging , cuddling and holding hands , well, that’s right up my alley, actually, no, not alley , that’s for alley dogs , it’s right up my street , ummm not that too ; it’s my forte, my thing , my area of expertise.

‘ PAWS ‘ ABILITY

So if you are lonely or sick or tired of the worries and weight of the world come on over. I am there to hold your hand as best as I can . You know I have paws ! Not hands with opposable thumbs ! ( Read previous post ‘Why can’t monkeys write ?’ if you need full explanation )

All right then , here is Bella, the dog diva signing off .

P.S. Since life is a learning process why don’t you use your fingers and your opposable thumbs to hold a pencil and write down the actual word wherever I have written

in inverted commas .

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WHY CAN’T 🐒 MONKEYS WRITE ?🤪🤪

He is no monk, just monkeying around 🤪🤪🤪

 

Woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof!
Woof woof woof woof woof woof woof .
Woof woof, woof woof woof woof woof woof woof …… keep repeating for two minutes .

image

PROFESSOR OLLIE

Translation by Professor Ollie who is a language specialist by virtue of the fact that he can never stop himself from asking the question ‘To wit, who ?’

I hope you have been practicing the Woof language in your spare time , it is a simple language really, you can’t ever make grammatical errors or spelling mistakes when you speak or write this language; of course , written only by those with opposable thumbs though I often wonder why monkeys don’t write ! They, too have opposable thumbs.

Perhaps , you can ask your teacher and figure that out after you have found out the meaning of opposable thumbs which all humans and monkeys have . Then you may understand the reason why we dogs can only speak / bark and not write ! Or peel a banana . Our paws are just not cut out for it.

Actually monkeys can do a lot because of their opposable thumbs. Take a look at the video ! Woof woof woof ( translated – ha ha ha ) . The problem is they can never do anything creative just make mischief ! Take a look . From the grandfather to the little baby !!! Check them out.

Bella, the dog diva signing off !

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WOOF LANGUAGE !

 

WOOF ! WOOF ! WOOF !
Translated – MIND YOUR LANGUAGE !

Woof woof woof , woof woof woof woof .
( repeat as many times as there are words below )

Living so long with humans has had a disastrous impact on my temperament. I almost forgot my doggy language ! After all your culture is ingrained in your language and try as I may I can never become totally human nor do I want to be ! I mean who wants to be always fighting about who is better !

Thank God dogs have only one language , the WOOF ; there are some YAPS but those are usually spoken by those who are not as urbane as the others. The ARFS are for the underprivileged AND unsophisticated.

So from now onwards I will be communicating with my fans in the WOOF language and the erudite Professor Ollie from Jungle land will be translating my words of wisdom in plain English to those who do not understand the WOOF language .

Erudite owl from Jungle land .

Though I do encourage all my readers ( fans ) to learn this very divine language . There are no words to describe it. Just like there are no words to describe the incredible personalities of dogs except that there must be a reason why dog spelt backwards spells ? ? ……………. WOOF …. you got it !

So get with the programme folks. Try to develop dog like traits and there will be no more ‘human’ problems !

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Running with the hounds

All right then, just a few days ago I discussed the problem with diets and dog food in relation to dog divas like moi. Very, very irksome indeed, diets and dog foods !

Related to this issue is the one about exercise . I know it is fashionable to run and jog and jump. I have many, many of these type of hound friends who do not mind jumping through the hoops, mindlessly chasing balls and frisbees .

But , really, not for me .

It’s not that I have anything against exercise , to each his own I say , but it’s not all right for a dog diva to get hot and sweaty . An occasional sprint , ( see photo ) to keep my assistants happy and because I do look spectacular with my golden ears flying in the air , is fine but tirelessly running and running and getting all hot and bothered under the collar …. shudder !!

I mean, if the purpose of all this exercise is just to get the blood coursing through ones veins then what about the more sophisticated and pleasurable route of full body massage ( see photo again )

Sigh … one of my assistants can have a career in dog massage. If you look closely she is such an expert that she can rub my head skilfully even whilst she looks away !
Oh yes, brisk dog massages is the route for me and other dog divas. And we will not take No for an answer.

 


Of course, in return , because , in life, there are no free lunches ( or in this case massages ) I do have to suffer multiple PDA’s ( Public Display of Affection , just in case you are not so acronym savvy ) in the way of expressions of adorations such as kisses, hugs, squeezes but I can live with it . Personally , I prefer sniffs, licks and general dog play ( horses call it horse play ) but humans will do what they have to do ! See photos.

Yup, it’s a dog divas’ life !

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Do dog divas diet ?

Hi !

It’s been a long time folks that Bella, moi, the dog diva has been in touch but , like all divas , Bella , again moi, has been busy with diva like activities ; see photo , tee hee ! Yes, lounging and cuddling that’s what we divas do best .

And , in my case , I am always cuddled up with some human or the other and really, it’s difficult to say no to certain humans who are obsessed with moi. I guess it’s my cuddly figure ( though the dog doctor , known by some as a vet because he is a veteran in dog problems , has put me on a diet ! )

Ah ! The diet … it’s so vexing ! No more edges of bread and tidbits . I do get to munch on apples or a juicy cantaloupe. And there are my chicken treats ! But, this whole diet business, I really am not in favor of it ! Why can’t dog divas eat human food, that is the question . If you have a solid reason , let me know . Diets and dog food –  It’s just not my thing !