WOOF ! WOOF ! WOOF !
Translated – MIND YOUR LANGUAGE !
Woof woof woof , woof woof woof woof .
( repeat as many times as there are words below )
Living so long with humans has had a disastrous impact on my temperament. I almost forgot my doggy language ! After all your culture is ingrained in your language and try as I may I can never become totally human nor do I want to be ! I mean who wants to be always fighting about who is better !
Thank God dogs have only one language , the WOOF ; there are some YAPS but those are usually spoken by those who are not as urbane as the others. The ARFS are for the underprivileged AND unsophisticated.
So from now onwards I will be communicating with my fans in the WOOF language and the erudite Professor Ollie from Jungle land will be translating my words of wisdom in plain English to those who do not understand the WOOF language .
Though I do encourage all my readers ( fans ) to learn this very divine language . There are no words to describe it. Just like there are no words to describe the incredible personalities of dogs except that there must be a reason why dog spelt backwards spells ? ? ……………. WOOF …. you got it !
So get with the programme folks. Try to develop dog like traits and there will be no more ‘human’ problems !