My most favorite moment is when Poorvi is in town and my pampering increases exponentially. She has a real calling to be a dog masseuse ! Why do folks think that dogs don’t need to be rubbed down like our equinine friends . Dogs also need constant (or at least once a day if that is inconvenient for our lazy masters ) finger massage. It keeps the blood flowing to our temple and other body parts and keeps our hair/ fur springy and shiny !
Now that I am not as young as before ( pssst keep this to yourselves , we female dogs have the same pretensions as the females of your kind !) I really do have to work harder to keep up appearances of an erstwhile beauty contest runner up in the 50 lb category where I was first in a grand total of three contestants !
Whatever ! A winner is a winner and I am not going to be giving these details to all and sundry , only to you , my dear fans and readers . So again , keep a secret , if you will !
Of course , it’s not easy to get this kind of treatment and pampering since there are no luxury pet grooming centers or , maybe, my pack turns a Nelson’s eye to them even if they exist ; Flintstones, I say !
If you take a gander at the video you will see frequent nosing and holding hands is required by way of encouragement to which she is happily responsive . Yup, Poorvi is one of kind , a dear soul and I love her very, very much !
And I will even suffer her PDA’s ( Public Display of Affection, in case you are not acronym savvy ! ) just as long as she does not stop the champi ( Indian word for head massage from which the English word shampoo originated ! I am well versed in the nuances of the world languages even though my personal preference is the “ Woof “ language – article about it elsewhere on this blog )
Sometimes I wonder if my life has any purpose at all . I mean I know I am a dog and all that but what is a dogs’s purpose ?
I had a chat with some of my friends one day on this subject and this is what they had to say
Toby ( a labradoodle) : A dog’s purpose ? What do you mean ? We have a purpose ? I thought we were just meant to chase balls and then chase more balls and never stop chasing balls . We can even chase flat balls that go spinning in the air when my master throws it . ( Toby doesn’t know the difference between a frisbee and a ball , it’s all the same to him )
Bella ( a good looking female golden retriever ): Master, what is a master ? Those folks who live with us . That is our pack. And we are the leader of the pack . Don’t we always walk in front and allow them to hold our leash so that they don’t get lost. And , when we do our business they have to pick it up and dispose it off . It’s sad but till they invent a better poop scooper they have to do it !
Trumpet : True , but as usual Toby has made us forget what we were talking about !
Archie ( who is English ): Bow wow Bow wow , lets go play !
Roscoe ( who has one blue eye and one brown and is a mutt ) : Archie is very young , he is not going to understand all this high falutin’ talk ! But I agree with Toby, running after balls is our purpose and it’s a pleasure to be sure .
Bella : Mindlessly running after balls may be fun but does it serve any purpose ? And for who ?
Apollo: What about the purpose of a ball? Personally I think it is to get the ball, and keep it until you rip it apart! My master always yells at me for ruining it, isn’t that what the purpose of a ball is.
(This sentence was Ambika’s contribution- she has the makings of a writer! )
Roscoe : Bow wow , here’s another fella going off on a tangent again . Keep to the subject man. We are talking about a dog’s purpose not the ball’s purpose !
Bella : Yes, but he’s got something there ! If our purpose is to rip balls then is the balls purpose to be ripped ? So, if it is our purpose to lord over our masters ( I try to be polite and call them assistants to their face and in polite company ) then isn’t it the masters purpose to continue being slaves ?
Apollo : This is getting very confusing . Who is the master who is the slave !
Toby : That’s why I say let’s not muddle our heads with this master , slave , purpose nonsense and just go on chasing balls !
Archie : Arf, Arf , I agree let’s go play !
Roscoe : What’s this Arf business ? Can’t you bark like normal dogs ?!
Trumpet : He’s English. An English golden retriever , he speaks differently ! That’s why he is more white than golden !
Bella ( looking up ) : That’s interesting . I guess that’s why we are called a melting pot. If you mix white, yellow, brown and black you do get a golden colour !
Roscoe ( who has one blue eye and one brown ) : (chuckling ) Some call it khakhi ! Ha ha ha
Nitro arrives and hears the last bit .
Nitro : Yup ! Not white and pure as driven snow any longer ..,
Trumpet : Hey, hey fella , where have you come from , trying to make trouble ?
Apollo : He is fresh off the boat . Anyway Roscoe, you are a fine one to talk , you one eyed Jack !
Roscoe : Hey, hey why are you taking off on me dude. I am not the one making trouble , it’s the fella with a name who is as incendiary as his name .
Archie : Let’s go play ball , please, please , pretty please !
Bella : Nitro, you are in our zone . We are not going to let an outsider make trouble .
Nitro : ( sarcastically) Yeah, sure. You don’t NEED an outsider . You are capable of doing it yourselves !
Archie : Please let’s not fight . Let’s go play !
Roscoe : Keep quiet, you foolish little English mutt . Can’t you see we are discussing grown up stuff . Go and play by yourself .
Archie : All right then toodle doo to you . I am going to go .
Nitro : Yes exit . Since you are British do it the British way . Just Brexit.
Archie runs off his tail wagging playfully . He shouts over his shoulder
Archie : It’s better to be alone and play than to be with many and fight . Cheerio , pip pip and all that .
Nitro : Little does he know what’s waiting for him around the corner.
Bella : I think you are a trouble maker Nitro . What is waiting for him around the corner . How do you get this information ?
Roscoe : I hope he is not the source of it . Or his friends .
Nitro : Well, you mutts , it’s time for us pure ones to rule and we are going to take care of it .
Trumpet : And how are you going to do that , O pure one ?
Nitro : It’s a super secret plan. I am not so stupid as to reveal it . But, it’s going to take care of all of you mutts and put you in your place . Ha ha ha . Wait and watch
Trumpet to Roscoe : Doggone it, I have to get my K-9 unit in place then cause this fella sure looks like he is going to stir the pot a bit !
Bella: ( sighs ) Why can’t we stick to the subject ? As usual our discussion is hijacked by unwanted elements . No wonder we can never get anywhere , just round and round , chasing our own tails ! Oh well , one day we will find out what is a dog’s purpose ? !
MY BFF – An expert in head massage , can give one even whilst she looks away !
Today I am going to write about a very special person in my life and tell you what makes her special or for that matter what makes anyone special to me.
It’s not good looks ( though she is very good looking ); after all dogs can only like dog looking people which people don’t like. In fact, they don’t think it’s nice to look like a dog and when they want to insult someone they say, “ She looks like a dog. “! Shouldn’t that be a compliment? Go figure.
Anyways coming back to this human , she is good looking and smart and well turned out, though what do we care about what you wear. After all we only wear our fur coat proudly and look like what Mother Nature intended us to look like.
But, I guess humans have their own peccadilloes ( which means a small infraction , ooops , another big word to explain a big word ; looks like Professor Ollie is with me in spirit ! ) . Anyways, it means to do something which others may consider an offense but it’s not something one should make a big song and dance about . Ah ! but I digress ( which means I am going away from the subject )
So she is very fancy shmancy and what not. People tell me she is educated but then what do we dogs care about whether you went to Harvard, Yale or Princeton. In fact, we don’t even care if you went to dog school to learn obedience and how to do your personal business out of the home. These things are not important to us. But they are important to humans then so be it.
So what makes this human special to me . For that matter what makes any human special to us dogs . Well, here comes the big SECRET of what quality makes us tick ! No, not those pesky creatures that cling to us and drive us insane . But what makes us dogs go ape with happiness . Oops 🙊, another critter reference ! All right what makes us 😀!
Yes, what dogs want is PURE LOVE . Love us and we are yours forever. And that’s what makes this human special to me. Her pure, unadulterated, unconditional love for me and for all other animals as well ; unfortunately, even cats. Though I do the draw line here. How can she like cats ? Oh well, there is no accounting for tastes. But there you are.
The secret is out . What makes a human special to dogs . That they love us. Then we don’t care if they wrap their arms around us, squeeze us, kiss us , cuddle us ( see pics ) we will bear with it and even grin as we bear it ( see pic ) because we know it’s coming out of love. Moreover, we can’t expect humans to love the doggy way by sniffing the unmentionable, licking or nipping ( gently ! ) Humans will be humans so it’s all good .
So here’s to the most special person in my life , POORVI SHUKLA . Thank you for all the cuddling , massages, hugs and more.
Happy Birthday .
XOXO BELLA
p.s BOW WOW ( which means I BOW to the WOW in you )
p.p.s. Ambika, don’t get angry because on your birthday you will become the MOST special too. Ditto Aryan and Anu ( my human mom )
Hello , it’s my birthday today and I just turned 7 which in human year’s would be 49 ! Phew ! But I am a canine so why would I count my years in human years , pray ! And what’s this obsession with age anyway ! I look and feel a spritely 7 ; though my bones may creak a bit and I do feel a bit lethargic and tend to sleep a lot , more than before and, maybe, I am not as agile as before particularly when treats are flung in the air ( note from Bella’s writer : Bella is getting on in years but is in denial like many of us ! ) but I feel 7 at heart and that’s what I am going to be !
I hope there is going to be a party planned for moi like before and Toby and Apollo will be over to share my treats and play with me ( I am generous that way ) and we will have a merry time and forget that my golden hair is not as gold as before , my face is turning white ( note from ghost writer : happens with golden retrievers as they get on in years ) and , well , all the things that happen to humans at 49 !
But what the beeswax , life is good and I hope to enjoy it to the fullest while the going is good . Here are some photos from my previous shindigs .
BFFS IF THERE IS NO CAKE A COOKIE WILL DO TOO ! SEEMS TO ME HUMANS LIKE TO KEEP THE BEST FOR THEMSELVES ; I GUESS THEY THINK THEY ARE ON THE HIGH TABLE AND FOOD CHAIN 😮🙄HOPE IT’S NOT ‘BACK TO THE BOWL’ !
YAAY SPECIAL COOKIES BAKED FOR MOI ! LIFE’s GOOD !
Translation by Professor Ollie who is a language specialist by virtue of the fact that he can never stop himself from asking the question ‘To wit, who ?’
I hope you have been practicing the Woof language in your spare time , it is a simple language really, you can’t ever make grammatical errors or spelling mistakes when you speak or write this language; of course , written only by those with opposable thumbs though I often wonder why monkeys don’t write ! They, too have opposable thumbs.
Perhaps , you can ask your teacher and figure that out after you have found out the meaning of opposable thumbs which all humans and monkeys have . Then you may understand the reason why we dogs can only speak / bark and not write ! Or peel a banana . Our paws are just not cut out for it.
Actually monkeys can do a lot because of their opposable thumbs. Take a look at the video ! Woof woof woof ( translated – ha ha ha ) . The problem is they can never do anything creative just make mischief ! Take a look . From the grandfather to the little baby !!! Check them out.
It’s not easy for a dog with long , golden hair to be ignored. Regular brushing is a must and it behoves the well mannered owner to be suitably invested in our grooming . After all every dog is just a reflection of his masters personality. In fact , look carefully . Every dog owner not only resembles his dog but his personality is also akin to his dog . If the dog is amiable, calm and laidback , the owner is likely to be similarly tempered. And if a dog looks calm but will suddenly nip your ankles watch out if the owner is your friend . Tee hee . If you don’t believe me take a look at some dogs and their owners ! By owner I mean the person who got the dog , looks after it and the dog responds to him.
If this material is copyrighted I apologize but I did take permission from the dogs featured in the photos .
It’s back to school for the kids and they have been hunting for bagpacks and pencil boxes. As for me I have been busy shepherding my pack in the right direction. After all, the flock has to be safe in the pen, safe from the wolves that skulk in the shadows waiting to prey on unsuspecting teenagers and kids.
Now you will ask who are these wolves and what do I have against them ? After all I am from the wolf family too. Then why the animosity towards them .
You have got the wrong end of the stick if you think I am talking about wolves from the animal kingdom. No siree bob, there is a twist in this tail. The wolves in question are the human wolves, far far more dangerous than the animal ones. And ever ready to prey on unsuspecting, innocent and fragile young lambs.
So now the question is how do I keep the children in my pack safe ? The answer is just by being there, Yes siree bob again. Just by being in their lives is a huge safety net for the children . Children with dogs and dogs with children go together like macaroni and cheese. One dog will do things which the combined force of parents,police force and the education system cannot do.
Just our presence will keep the child grounded, busy, responsible . Our positive energy will beat back the negative energy of human wolves. At the cost of repeating myself for the zillionth time – DOG spelt backwards is , you got it ! And once you get a dog for your kids God will forever hold them in the palm of his hands.
The last phrase is from a famous Irish blessing which goes something like this
” May the road rise up to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face;
the rains fall soft upon your fields
and until we meet again
may God hold you in the palm of his hand.”
So until we meet again on this website BOW WOW ! ( in this case it’s your turn to BOW to the WOW in us dogs 🐕 🐶! )
In a previous post I think I had explained that I am not the sweating it out and the gym type ( see ‘ Running with the hounds ‘ ) In fact, it gets wearisome , this expectation from humans that we as dogs constantly jump through hoops , mindlessly chasing balls to entertain humans who coolly stand on the sidelines watching and encouraging us. That is why when someone throws a ball at me I always run away with it and then it’s your turn to “fetch” it if you want to continue this mindless game, Tee hee .
Anyway, since we are on the subject of exercise I have discovered a cool new way to stretch my limbs without the sweat, particularly suitable for those who are more mature or have health problems like blood pressure, heart problems etc.
DOGS DO DOGA . BELLA IN YET ANOTHER DOGIC POSITION
It’s called YOGA ( for humans ) and DOGA ( for dogs ) . I think you may be familiar with the ‘downward dog ‘ position. Yes, we have contributed to this great science of yoga too ( see pic. )
DOWNWARD DOG IN MY PUPPY DAYS
OUR CONTRIBUTION TO YOGA – THE DOWNWARD DOG !
YOGA DOG OR DOGA IN DEEP THOUGHT . I WONDER WHAT DEEP PHILOSOPHY IS GOING THROUGH HER MIND. THE NATURE OF THE UNIVERSE, THE PURPOSE OF OUR EXISTENCE OR IS IT JUST THE MOST BASIC QUESTION OF LIFE – IS THAT PERSON ON THE TABLE GOING TO SLIP ME THE SAUSAGE WHICH IS DANGLING OFF HER PLATE ?
Then , there is my favorite position, the lying supine one ; also called ‘playing dead ‘ in dog language. I am in this position for the better part of the day and it suits me fine. If you are in this position you are totally healthy, no stress at all. I love it.
Playing dead or ’shavasana’
Another ‘SHAVASANA’ or playing dead position . Sooo relaxing 😌
ANOTHER ‘SHAVASANA’ . I am not really dead, don’t worry 😉
BELLA’S FAVORITE POSITION.
In fact, we dogs are very similar to the yogis ( or those who do yoga ) ; that’s why we are called doggys ( pronounced in a way to match ‘yogis’ ) You may well ask how ? Well, like yogis or ascetics we have no materialistic desires, we do not ask for a mansion, car, even a family. We live a simple life and even’beg’ for our food. Like yogis we wear no clothes ( at least they have a loin cloth ) and like yogis we will travel the world with not a care if you let us off the leash . Like yogis we love you for you are our God and we are loyal to you as one should be loyal to God. Maybe, that’s why, when language was first invented we were just GOD spelt backwards and we bow to the wow in you in a downward dog position !
( This post has been written by “ Bella’s sister” – the budding writer – Ambika. Six years ago A was the first one who had written to Cuckoo and Banana – Drama ; I have reproduced the letters below . Now she brings forth her own take on Bella’s activities and they are as fresh as the first rain after a long dry spell ! Children always have their unique view of the world . )
Bella writes ( through Ambika’s pen ) –
Since this new season has come around, my sister’s friends have been hanging around. Honestly, the first time all of them came was fun because they ( like everyone else ) loved me and gave me so much attention . But after the third time of so many people coming , I’m exhausted. If I’m just relaxing , almost every time I am disturbed . Why am I always the one who has to get up. I feel these people don’t apppreciate me enough. Like they act they are doing me a service.
Anyways , as I was saying . When her friends come they sometimes jump into this huge water bowl in my backyard/territory. But my assistants never let me go out with them, it’s ridiculous. I mean, when I’m let out by “accident “ I want to join the fun as well but I get in trouble for that. How fair is that ? They get to have fun and I don’t ? There was one time when I jumped in the water , then one week later the water bowl was emptied, it was just a bowl !
The last thing I am going to talk about are those darn squirrels that think it’s ok to come into my territory. When they come, my retriever side comes out. I start barking and banging outside the door until one of my assistants open it for me, then I bark my tail off. For some reason they always come back for more. Every time I protect my assistants from these vicious creatures.
Now I’m signing off !
XOXO
Bella
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AMBIKA’S LETTERS TO BANANA DRAMA AND CUCKOO.
PROFESSOR OLLIE
( who translates the human language to ‘critter’ language and vice versa )
LETTER TO BANANA-DRAMA
Dear Banana drama,
Why are you so crazy? Why did you put skates on Mr. Tittle Turtle? You are very cute and one day, I hope you travel to the moon
Love,
A
Banana Drama
Banana Drama
BANANA – DRAMA’S REPLY
Yo, A
I am not only crazy but also cool, I am a crazy cool monkey.
I was just helping Mr. Tittle Turtle to walk faster, he is so slow that sometimes by the time he has reached his own birthday party and blown out the candles it is time for his next birthday party and we don’t have so much time like he has. Do you know a turtle can live up to 150 years so he can take things slow but not us monkeys.
I do want to travel to the moon one day but I would like to do it on a full moon night. What if there is half a moon and I land on the dark side, how will I see stuff. And on a night when there is no moon, what if I don’t find it? I think I better ask my science teacher about this, you do that too.
You are very pretty. But it is not nice to give your baby to someone else.
Your funniest fan,
A
Cuckoo Cool
Cuckoo Cool
CUCKOO’S
REPLY
My dear A
Thank you! Lots of my fans have told me I am pretty, very pretty. I also have a beautiful voice. Now if you have some talent you have to let it shine. I had to go to King Tweety –Fruity’s kingdom to be a star and a baby would have been a bother. So, I did the best thing for Melody, I left her with Maggie Hatchery.
She is going to have four babies so she can look after one more. Maggie is a good mom so she is in good hands.
Hi Kids, Don’t we all love dogs ! That is why this is a special place for dog lovers where Bella, the dog diva is going to tell all of us what goes on in her doggy mind ! And she can come up with some pretty surprising stuff. So, watch out for Bella, the dog diva. And her friends. Because every diva is surrounded by friends!
ME – SHIPRA SHUKLA – BELLA ( THE DOG) AND ME ( THE HUMAN)
‘Bella ( the dog) and Me ( the human). We have matching coats except hers is fur. But no cruelty was involved in her coat except being hugged and cuddled till she could hardly breathe!’
It is translated by Professor Ollie who also wants you to notice that Bella has used capitals after every period and exclamation marks in the right place. She is a very grammatically correct dog.
Hello kids! Take a look at this lady! She thinks she is making me play but it is I who is entertaining her and making her happy! That is the special quality of dogs, we can make our human friend very happy. In return, we only want a lot of love and a little bit of dog food and a treat or two. I love chew bones and when no one is looking my friend here slips me a sausage! So, you kids when you come to meet me, don’t forget to bring a treat. We are not like cats who always look snooty. We show our love. Bye, Bye, Bella p.s. I like bacon strips! top
